Monday, April 11, 2011

What Adele Song is Gwyneth Paltrow Diligently Preparing to Sing on Glee?

I have some rather exciting news to share. After weeks of rigorous 5 hour a day workouts with fitness guru Tracy Anderson, voice training with legendary vocal coach and dear family friend Seth Rudetsky and a dedicated macrobiotic diet of miso and watercress soup, screen siren Gwyneth Paltrow is finally ready to tackle the musical stylings of some peasant girl named Adeal? Adalee? Oh, sorry, my assistant has informed me that apparently, it's called 'Adele.' My apologies. I must admit, I usually only listen to African tribal choirs and isolationist and organic ambient music (yes, even my music is organic!).

Paltrow, who is known for her Academy Award winning role in Shakespeare in Love, as well as other cinematic masterpieces such as Emma, Great Expectations and Shallow Hal, is currently moonlighting on a television series entitled Glee. As I do not own a television set, I called upon my darling friend Tinsley Mortimer to confirm. She says that although she has not seen the program either she did run into one of the shows stars, a "Leah Michelle," at Tara Palmer-Tomkinson's Labor Day for the Labour Party luncheon this past summer. Now, I'm not one to gossip but Tinsley tells me that the diminutive young ingenue was simply binging herself on the vegan canapes (she ate 4 of them, can you believe it?!?!?!) and downing the Dom like it was Pellegrino sparkling water! With manners like that it's no wonder she is on network TV.

But back to my dear friend Gwyneth. In honor of her performance, I will be holding a champagne and caviar toast on my pied-à-terre in Gramercy Park. I do hope that you don't think that you are allowed to join us.

Kiss kiss,